Try
by CosmicStorm19
Summary: Rick copes with the death of his friend in a very unhealthy way. He's experienced mental breakdowns before but this time is worse. Can Michonne help him? Or will he succumb to his negative emotions. Takes places after the finale (spoilers).
**Try**

 ** _I tried my best to imagine how Rick will emotionally and mentally cope with the death that occurred in the finale. I don't know who died, but I believe it's a male character._**

It had been two days since Rick left the locked bedroom. Two days without food, despite the plates of food that were routinely brought to the door. They would knock, beg him to eat something, but he'd ignore them. Rick looked down at his cracked watch. It had been 2 days, 2 hours, 26 minutes, and 4 seconds since his friend died. Since his life was brutally beaten out of him by Negan. From that moment on his ghost and voice constantly haunted Rick.

"Rick, open the door. You've been in here for days," Michonne said softly as she knocked on the door. The door wasn't locked, but Rick barricaded it with a chair.

"Go away," he mumbled as he looked towards the door. After turning his face towards the window, he caught is reflection. He hadn't changed is clothes since that night. The dried blood, hair, and flesh of his dead friend were still stuck to his shirt.

"You're gonna open this door Rick. I'm not playing with you," she demanded.

Rick shook his head, trying to concentrate on what Michonne actually said. The voices and visual hallucinations were so strong now that it was becoming harder to tell the real voices from the fake. For the last 20 minutes Rick was embattled in an intense conversation with his deceased friend.

 _"_ _Go ahead. It's right in front of you. Use it,"_ the voice said. Rick looked towards the chair against the door, that's where his friend was sitting.

Rick picked up the revolver lying on the floor. It was one of the few guns they'd managed to hide from Negan. With only two bullets left, it wouldn't be useful in a fight, but it could still serve a purpose. "What do you want from me," Rick asked quietly.

 _"_ _Use the gun Rick. You deserve it. Every decision you've ever made has done nothing but cause death and destruction. You're useless,"_ voice said.

"I..I tried. I never meant for this to happen to you. To any of you! I'm sorry," Rick cried as he buried his head in his arms.

 _"_ _Two bullets Rick. You have two bullets, two chances to make this right. We'd be better off without you. Go ahead Rick, just pull the trigger and this will be over,"_ he said.

Rick held the gun in his trembling hand. "What about Judith and Carl?"

 _"_ _They deserve better. How much longer until they die because of a stupid decision you make!"_

"Rick! Who are you talking to? Open the door now," Michonne shouted as she continued to bang on the door.

"Maybe you're right," Rick replied, but not to Michonne.

Rick placed the chamber of the revolver against his forehead. Something about this felt natural and comfortable. He had two bullets, two chances to make this right. He was no longer concerned about Judith or Carl. Surely Michonne would care for them, she loved them. Rick cocked back the gun and hoped for the best.

Crack!

Somehow Michonne managed to kick in the bedroom door. The sound of the splitting wood stunned Rick. He wasn't sure if it was the sound of splitting wood or the shattering of his skull. Before Rick was able to clear the fog that clouded his mind, he found himself pinned to the ground.

"Stop. Get off me," Rick screamed, cried, and pleaded. Michonne managed to pin him to the ground with his arms behind his back. He was so close to ending the pain, making all his mistakes disappear. Now Michonne ruined it.

"No Rick. This isn't the way. I know you're hurting. Trust me, I've been here before, I know what you're feeling," she pleaded.

"He wants me to do it. I need to do end this Michonne," Rick cried. Both the voice and image were gone. The chair his dead friend was sitting on had been tossed across the floor.

Michonne hated seeing Rick like this. This was the man she loved and had opened her heart to. She quickly scanned the room for something to secure his hands. There was nothing within reach, except for her hair wrap. She quickly used the wrap to tie a knot as tightly as she could without causing Rick more pain.

"I'll sit you up if you promise to calm the hell down," Michonne said as she straddled him.

Rick nodded silently. Michonne gently maneuvered Rick from the floor to leaning his back against the wall. "Why don't you just go? Go away and leave me the hell alone Michonne!"

Michonne ran her fingers through Rick's matted hair. "I'm not leaving you Rick. You should know that by now."

Tears sprang from Rick's eyes like a broken faucet. "I keep hearing his voice. I keep seeing his face. He's angry with me. He's blaming me. I led y'all into the trap that night." Rick's body was trembling.

Michonne tightly wrapped her arms around Rick's shoulders. "It's not your fault. Negan killed him, not you. I know things seem hopeless, but this isn't the way," she said while pointing to the gun.

"I can't go on like this anymore. Y'all would be better off without me," Rick cried.

"Look at me," Michonne said as she grabbed his face. "You are by no means a perfect man. But you're good, and kind, and strong. Rick this is the world we live in. People die, no matter how hard we try to keep them safe. We owe it to the ones we leave behind to keep going."

"We have to survive," Rick said softly, not sure if he believed his own words.

"All we can do is try," she said as she placed a soft kiss on Rick's forehead.

Michonne's sudden move scared him. "Please don't leave. I don' know if I can get through all this without you."

"I'm not going anywhere. We can sit here all day or I can help you to the shower. We'll do whatever you want," Michonne said gently.

"I need to stop Negan," Rick grunted as he tried to stand up. He nearly fell over as his hands were still tied behind his back.

"Negan's not going anywhere, he can wait," she said as she untied the knot, hoping she wouldn't regret this decision. "Rick I need you to promise me something."

With a blank gaze Rick replied, "What is it?"

"Promise me that you'll tell me if you hear voices or see anything that you know isn't real. I need you to promise me that Rick," she pleaded.

"I'll try," Rick said as he looked at the ground, ashamed. He was their leader, but instead of leading he was sitting on the floor battling a threatening hallucination. "I promise Michonne."

"I love you Rick. I don't know what I'd so without you," Michonne said softly. She tried to look into his eyes but he kept avoiding her gaze.

"Survive. You'd survive," Rick replied flatly.

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 **Thank you for reading~  
**


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